When Lucy was a baby (she's now three!), I remember making the decision that I would not use nursing time as a time to checkup on email or use the computer in any form or fashion. Why? It just didn't seem right. After all nursing was not just about feeding my baby. It was about focusing on her ... smiling at her, gazing into her eyes, singing to her, touching her, examining her, talking to her ... loving her. Using the computer took my attention and communication away from her and gave it to someone out in cyberspace.
I was reminded of this decision a couple of nights ago when my eight year old sat next to me on the couch and said, "Mom, can we have some cuddle time?" Well, I love to cuddle with my kids, but I had just started reading some paperwork I was behind in. Despite that, I moved over and Patrick crawled in under the blanket next to me. After getting positioned and comfortable, I gave him a good back rub and then resumed my reading. After about five minutes, he said, "Hey, mom, that's not cuddling. You're reading! What about me?"
My natural instinct was to get frustrated and tell him we are cuddling just by being snug and comfy under the blanket together.
But no, I thought, he's right. I was not giving him my attention. Cuddling was more than just laying next to me. It was similar to the experience of nursing a little one. It was about bonding ... loving each other ... just being present to each other.
So, I put down the papers, repositioned the blankets, held his hand and gave him a nice head massage. After about three minutes, he said, "Now that's more like it! Now we are cuddling!"
He was right! Now we were really cuddling! I wouldn't have it any other way.